You’ve left me.
I woke up bruised and scarred
From the thorns of your stars, broken in halves
Scattered on the shore, ground into a stone.
Alone.
You’ve left me.
And I remember, you promised to be
Forever with me, eons of time!
You said, “Go and explore, expand and grow
my Universe, don’t be scared
I will find you everywhere
In a little girl’s smile
In the crickets’ sounds
From the lake by your house.’’
You said, “I will lead your path
Light it up for you
When you’re angry and blind
Watch your every move
So you don’t fall
So you don’t cry.”
Yet now I’m lying in the puddle of mud
With my hair tangled into salt
Stubbornly staring at your sky
My shaking hands
Are trying to catch your shade
But it’s too late
I am trying to pray you out
Or pray you in
But you’re not here.
You’ve left me.
Like the other day
When I was dripping down
The Golgotha Hill
Hanging down from my mother’s eyes
They were just standing there, watching me
With disgust and guilt
And it didn’t feel at all
As if I’d saved any souls
Only trust in your love
Could’ve helped me go
Through that horror
So I called your name
But you weren’t there.
You’ve left me.
You said, “I will find you everywhere
I will touch your heart at dawn
When you wake up and see
Him looking in your eyes
And when the waves bless your face
With the salty taste of my kiss
I will find you there,”
That’s what you pledged.
Yet now I’m choking on my breath
Trapped in that body that cannot stand
The absence of your hands
Holding my soul in a loving embrace.
Oh no, I wouldn’t come here if I knew
Life would be a journey without you!
So please explain yourself
You
Almighty
Omniscient
And Omnipotent…
Why the fuck did you leave me again?
And only the wet sand
Wraps me in its arms
Covers me with scratchy tenderness
Of a lobster smell
Pets my shoulders, my cheeks, my neck
Murmurs to me…
I barely hear
Through my tears and pain
It gets into my ear
Into my brain
Quietly and patiently
Sighs…
I
WILL
FIND
YOU
EVERYWHERE.