You’ve Left Me

You’ve left me.

I woke up bruised and scarred

From the thorns of your stars, broken in halves

Scattered on the shore, ground into a stone.

Alone.

You’ve left me.

And I remember, you promised to be

Forever with me, eons of time!

You said, “Go and explore, expand and grow

my Universe, don’t be scared

I will find you everywhere

In a little girl’s smile

In the crickets’ sounds

From the lake by your house.’’

You said, “I will lead your path

Light it up for you

When you’re angry and blind

Watch your every move

So you don’t fall

So you don’t cry.”

Yet now I’m lying in the puddle of mud

With my hair tangled into salt

Stubbornly staring at your sky

My shaking hands

Are trying to catch your shade

But it’s too late

I am trying to pray you out

Or pray you in

But you’re not here.

You’ve left me.

Like the other day

When I was dripping down

The Golgotha Hill

Hanging down from my mother’s eyes

They were just standing there, watching me

With disgust and guilt

And it didn’t feel at all

As if I’d saved any souls

Only trust in your love

Could’ve helped me go

Through that horror

So I called your name

But you weren’t there.

You’ve left me.

You said, “I will find you everywhere

I will touch your heart at dawn

When you wake up and see

Him looking in your eyes

And when the waves bless your face

With the salty taste of my kiss

I will find you there,”

That’s what you pledged.

Yet now I’m choking on my breath

Trapped in that body that cannot stand

The absence of your hands

Holding my soul in a loving embrace.

Oh no, I wouldn’t come here if I knew

Life would be a journey without you!

So please explain yourself

You

Almighty

Omniscient

And Omnipotent…

Why the fuck did you leave me again?

And only the wet sand

Wraps me in its arms

Covers me with scratchy tenderness

Of a lobster smell

Pets my shoulders, my cheeks, my neck

Murmurs to me…

I barely hear

Through my tears and pain

It gets into my ear

Into my brain

Quietly and patiently

Sighs…

I

WILL

FIND

YOU

EVERYWHERE.

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