Falling in love is a hideous process.
Like every disease, it starts with belief
That you’re invincible
You recklessly run through the echo of his laugh
You immerse yourself in the smell of his neck
On that motorbike
With his hand on your lap
And the Northern Star guiding your ride
And before you take a breath and see
That kiss under the tree
Infects your system with the virus of Him
Like a bug nesting in your brain
He gets to dictate your every thought
He loves me, he loves me not
Now everything—his voice, his grin, that spot on the beach
Becomes a brick of his temple in your womb
Black butterfly of doom is the symbol of new cult
Black butterfly of doom slays its own cocoon
Cuts your stomach in two
When you’re waiting for the beeping sound of salvation
So here it came! He wrote you today
And you want to smear your eyes
Like butter over each word
Suck every letter to its naked bone
Eat them in a sandwich with roasted heart and sliced hope
Breathe them in, get high on him, get stuffed with him
Get sick, so sick, SO SICK OF HIM!
Falling in love is an exercise for your will.
Don’t think of him. DON’T think of him!
It’s a test of faith. What do you prefer?
Connection to his whim or connection to yourself?
Oh, if I were you, I would meditate
I would take that pain and mix it in an elixir
With a gecko tail and two shells
I would drink it by the full moon
In the name of Isis
In the name of myself
For my own strength
I would sit with my head in the rain and pray
God, please save my brain, don’t let me go insane
God, erase his name from the pages of my fate
I chose myself. I want ONLY myself!
So what do you say?
Falling in love is a tough lesson to take.
A lesson of letting go